Hello Blog Familia. Recently my students have been preparing for an upcoming writing assessment and it has amplified my desire to challenge my own writing. The other day we created a neighborhood map and I entertained my class with hilarious stories from my youth, some of which I have written about on here. Thus inspiration was had and I have deemed it high time that I regale you with another epic tale from the life and times of Caylor. It wouldn't be a saga of mine without awkwardness and laughter so buckle up for this hilarious ride.
Picture a gangly youth in the 5th grade with a lion's mane, as I had not discovered gel or mousse yet, strolling through the forest on a fun hiking adventure with my family. Competitive should have been my middle name, but my parents weren't aware of my greatness until I was at least three and by that point they were kind of attached to Reneé. So there I am on this beautiful nature trail with my entire family and our family friends, The Barkley's and all I could think about was sprinting ahead to be the first person to complete this trek and further solidify that I was better in all areas of life than everyone present.
I'm gleefully skipping along and have passed all members of our party by at least a half mile or greater when it hits me. I have the urge to tinkle. Now I understand that you are aware I am surrounded, practically suffocating, amid a bevy of trees. But, 11 year old me did not draw that logical conclusion. No, my brilliant self saw a nearby creek and formulated the greatest plan ever!
It was so simple; I just knew I had invented a masterpiece of deceit. I would pee my pants and then splash around in the creek to disguise how my pants had truly gotten wet. Part one was a success as I emptied my bladder directly into my jean shorts. Next, I sat down directly in the stream and daubed my gorgeous jorts with water. Now I just had to wait for these fools to catch me and put my plan into action.
Around the bend arrives the large group of 10 or so individuals. They look at me and I hurriedly exclaim, "I tripped and fell in the creek." I have fooled them all and attained genius levels of trickery. I am feeling extremely smug and have no moment of panic when one by one each person finds a tree or bush to pee behind. I am victorious!
Flash forward to high school. We are sitting around the kitchen table after dinner and laughing at old memories and hijinks. I decide to finally come clean about my sordid past. My family sits in quiet attentiveness as I refresh their memories of our hiking trip. As I finish, every single soul at the table erupts into judgmental guffaws. Emma, my youngest sister who would have been 4 or 5 at the time of said pee party, manages to spew out between giggles, "We knew that day. No one falls in a creek in a perfect sitting position. It was so obvious!"
I am shocked, stunned, befuddled at this revelation that they knew all along. Here for the past 7 or 8 years I had felt pride in my ability to mask the embarrassing truth. Only to find out that I had been the fool. I had been the idiot who looked at the hundreds of trees in my nearby vicinity and said, "Nah." Although my jig was up and I felt quite the dullard, I did feel entirely loved and supported. How kind was my entire family and the Barkley's to be met with this easily ridiculed moment and instead rise above the natural, immature response. Instead of humiliating me to no end, they rose to heroic levels and stifled their giggles and let me exit the forest unscathed. (Well except for the giant pee stain on my shorts)
And now you know my 2nd most embarrassing story. I hope I have made you chuckle and reminisce about your own hilarious stories. Have a lovely weekend!
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