Solitude Doesn't Equal Sadness

Sunday evening I attended a service at my local church and was met with a sermon revolving around loneliness. Today I mistakenly borrowed a book from the library and instead of being the triumphant story of struggle and survival in Paris during WWII it was a depressing romantic novel about a woman who found herself on the verge of divorce and having no identity outside of her unfaithful husband. (Sidenote: check the author of the book b/c identically named books do exist haha) Recently being single has been a topic at large among friends and co-workers. People assume that without a significant other, my life must have no significance and therefore must be depressing, especially around Christmas time. This simply isn't true.

The truth is that people place too much stock in finding happiness in another person, activity, job, etc. The problem with looking outwardly for joy is that you will always be miserable. Happiness is something that comes from within and cannot be "found". Abraham Lincoln captured this truth with these words of wisdom, "Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."

As a single woman my life is filled with purpose and significance because I choose to value myself and I don't require another person to validate my existence. There are too many things that provide joy in this world to waste our time being lonely and unhappy. So quit squandering all the magical moments around you and CHOOSE to be happy! Below is a list of things that make me smile and hopefully will inspire you to embrace the good in all situations:

1. Going to the movies by myself. One Sunday a month I select a couple movies that I really want to see and head to the theater. It is nice to get lost in a film and not worry about someone talking through the dialogue or compromising and seeing a movie that everyone will enjoy. Another benefit is that matinee movies are cheaper and there are fewer people so seat selection is endless.

2. Cartoons. SpongeBob SquarePants is one of my favorites, but there are so many great cartoons out there that are just plain silly and are hard not to reminisce about childhood with and giggle along.

3. BOOKS!! I didn't put this first because I write and talk about books all the time, but they are so magical. Anything revolving around WWI or WWII in Europe is intriguing to me. Some other great reads include: City of Thieves by David Benioff (re-reading it right now), Hunger Games trilogy by Suzanne Collins (there is no good stopping point it's so riveting), It's Not All Flowers and Sausages by Mrs. Mimi (sarcastic and witty, great for future and current teachers), and I Am American and So Can You by Stephen Colbert (what has he done that isn't funny).

4. Crosswords/Sudoku. Luckily for me my college campus has free USAToday newspapers in one of the dorms so I am provided crosswords daily. These two games are intellectually challenging and offer lots of random knowledge to interject into daily conversation.

5. Music. There are so many great songs out there. I have music playing whenever possible. A favorite past-time of mine is to listen to records. It is so relaxing especially in the winter curled up with a book or by a roaring fire or casually talking with a few close friends.

6. Drawing. I am not a great artist by any means but I really enjoy challenging my skills and working to improve them. I just purchased a book "642 Things to Draw" that has pages filled with empty boxes and different things to draw in each one.

7. Running. There is something peaceful about pounding the pavement and just getting my blood pumping. Plus it is just one more time I am able to listen to music.

8. Work. This is somewhere that I choose to find joy. I get to know the people I work with and spend my shifts working hard and cracking jokes. I take pride in my work ethic, but I also value those moments when playing practical jokes or laughing with a co-worker. I look forward to spending time with other employees and it makes the day go by faster.

9. Making someone else smile. There is nothing more joyous than being the reason someone is smiling. This feat can be accomplished in a variety of ways, play to your strengths. I achieve this goal by being goofy and doing nice things for others. It is as simple as asking someone about their day, donning a fake mustache, telling a lame joke (What did the zero say to the eight? Nice belt 0 --> 8 get it?!?), paying for a friend's lunch, bringing candy to class, etc.

10. Counting my blessings. It is easy to become bogged down by the negative in our lives. Whenever I feel discouraged I take a few moments to consider all the positives and how lucky I truly am and then the negatives seem minute in comparison. I have a loving family and great friends. I am fully-functioning with no diseases. I have a roof over my head. I have a car and a job and I am in school pursuing my dreams.

So this Christmas focus on the things in your life that are great and find joy within and spread it to others. Who knows, if you aren't constantly whining and complaining about how lonely or miserable you are you might find time to be happy. And then you wouldn't need someone else to make you smile. Albert Einstein is another person who makes me happy so I will end with my favorite quote of his, "Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character."