Ramblings

Dork. That is what I am. I have many traits that qualify me in this category (sadly W.O.W. is not one of them) and they are evident on a pretty regular basis. One of the best is when I am alone and I smile or laugh aloud because I am truly happy and I would quite figuratively explode if I didn't at least grin. The problem is I still experience this when others are around and it looks a bit creepy to just be laughing to yourself or smiling uncontrollably without merit. I also frequently get the giggles at the most in-opportune moments. Last trip I took with my family, we all hopped onto an elevator and there was a lone soul directly across from me. I thought to myself how awkward it would be if I started laughing in that moment and proceeded to giggle for the next 7 floors. He look terrified and my family couldn't have been more embarrassed to get off on the same floor as me. I do things like this all the time. I guess awkward would be a better descriptor.

Silence. Not such a bad thing at the right time. However, in the middle of a conversation or when a group of people are hanging out and there is a lull in conversation, I go insane. I can't resist filling the void. I ramble on and on about the dumbest things and people tend to enjoy laughing at my awkward attempt to regale them so they talk not and force me to live in my own awkward prison for minutes at a time.

Obviously, if you've read any of my other posts or have ever met me, you are aware that I enjoy reading. That is pretty dorky in the time of technology and instant gratification. I can't help it. I love nothing more than the smell of an old book. I finally bought the Harry Potter series tonight after postponing shelling out that much dough for a series I've already read and seen all the movies of, but I am excited. I can't wait to finish re-reading the LOTR trilogy and begin re-reading Harry Potter.

Why I feel the urge to describe myself on this blog, I have no idea. I guess it is a way for me to express myself somewhat anonymously and I rarely share about myself to others. At least not the vulnerable parts about myself. Like the fact that I love writing dark, depressing poetry and that I can feel as low as my poems sound at times. Or that I am not as strong and bullet proof as I play. I view vulnerability and excessive emotion as weakness so I hide anytime I am hurt or upset because I don't want to be pathetic. It can get lonely to always listen and sympathize while my friends and family rarely see me cry or show insecurity.

Don't worry I also enjoy gleeful dorky things and I'm not all gloom. Like Wizards of Waverly Place. I know I am 25 and that show is one of my favorite shows. Also, SpongeBob Squarepants is seriously one of the best shows in the world and I went and saw the movie in theaters opening night. I have a life I swear.

I love music and especially songs you can sing and dance to and when no one is around I go wild and scream my lungs out and prance around my room. I could never let go of control and dance freely if anyone else was around. It's weird because I am not easily embarrassed but I would rather die than have anyone see me dance or try to appear sexy. I am able to do cute anytime, but I'm about as sexy as a turtle.

I guess if you were another turtle that could be pretty attractive and that will work for me, too. I just need to find myself another awkward turtle. Speaking of turtles, TMNT. Leonardo is the best and I will fight anyone who says differently. I have a stuffed Leo turtle that sits atop my bed and he is bad ass. I still sleep with a stuffed animal, so what.

When I tell a story I am unable to use my natural voice. I don't know why I change into a goofy voice, but anytime I am excited or telling a good story my voice goes to crazy mode and I don't even notice I'm doing it. I am a horrible texter because I think of a hundred different things to say and it takes me forever to type it all out. I wish that there was a way to dictate my response to my phone so that it would note sarcasm and clear up a lot of confusion anytime I text anyone. I spend most of my texts telling people it was just a joke or writing a lot of haha's or lol's to clarify the hilarity of my statement.

Rambling is a serious skill that I possess. I love to ramble and I am pretty freaking good at it in case this post didn't give you a clue. I am also great at thinking through several thoughts in my mind and spitting out the last one so that one second we are talking about basketball and the next minute I am asking you about whether or not you like marshmallows in your hot chocolate. With that being said, I bid you adieu and promise to withstand from rambling and blabbing about myself in every post.

I'll leave you with my favorite, and the greatest joke ever told:

What did the zero say to the eight?

0 to the 8

NICE BELT :D

Striving For Greatness...

Hello World. I have no great inspirational thoughts or deep seeded angst to express, I just felt like writing. It is a curious thing sending out various groupings of words and sentences into the vast unknown hoping that someone out there is reading my entertaining blog. It'd be nice if what I wrote meant something to another person, but the fact that I'm expressing it is enough to satisfy. I guess I just enjoy putting pen to paper (or in this case fingers to keypad).

Often after reading an excellent novel or a quote so eloquently stated, I wish that I had that natural prowess and was so adept that I could carelessly toss out a statement and everyone around would be in awe. To be an Edgar Allan Poe, Fyodor Dostoevsky or Shakespeare would be phenomenal. Alas, it is just I, Laura, the novice striving to put her mark on the world in some way. Perhaps if I could sing beautifully I would inspire thousands with mere verses. Or if I had raw talent in any sport, I could encourage athletes all over. Basically, I am trying to find a means of putting my average talents and common qualities to use in a meaningful way.

I want to make a difference. I want to improve the lives of those around me and leave this world better than I found it. It's cliche, but it is my heart. Sometimes I feel so small and insignificant in this grand place. How can I make any lasting impression or change? I still don't know yet. I am searching different passions to find the right fit for my characteristics. I have at least narrowed down the field a little.

I wish to work in a non-profit organization or an organization that focuses on children, music or athletics. I am quite fond of each of those categories and would be beyond content to partake in a career devoted to any of them. Currently I am awaiting news from Teach For America to see if my application qualifies me for the phone interview stage. I would most like to teach younger children. I love how innocent and capable kids are at that early age. The world is still so full of mystery and little discoveries are much more exciting. I would love to be part of that wonder.

Thinking of how to impact the world in a large way also lends my thoughts toward small difference makers and how they are just as important. I think of my parents and how they have challenged and encouraged me from birth to present. Without them I would be a lesser individual. I think of bad days and how one smile or kind comment turned the entire day around and changed my mood instantly. That is something I, we, could all do on a regular basis. If I was just a little bit kinder, a little slower to anger, a little more hesitant to judge, a little quicker to lend a hand or a little bit more encouraging, I could impact people in a prominent way without the glory. We rarely remember the small souls that intersect our lives and change it for the better. But that doesn't make their presence valueless. It is the best way to make your mark on the world, anonymously.

All that jibber jabber to simply say I want to value the way I affect others more than I value my own praise. I think often of the character Melanie Hamilton Wilkes from Gone With the Wind. She was the kindest person in the film and loving toward everyone regardless of how they treated her. She didn't always receive acclamation for her good deeds, but she was always happy and she changed those around her for the better by simply believing in the good in them. She made a lasting impact because she helped change people in her life and with their renewed spirits they changed others. She started the ripple of good. Much like the movie Pay It Forward, where the main character dies, but his kindness lives on in hearts of those he touched. He too saw the good in each person he met. "There is good in everyone," is what my Nana always used to say and I agree. I am going to strive to find the good in others and treat all as if they were a cherished friend or family member.

"Everyone has inside of him a piece of good news. The good news is that you don't know how great you can be! How much you can love! What you can accomplish! And what your potential is!" -Anne Frank

Just Be

One day as I was roaming the various bookstores of Murfreesboro, I came across a very intriguing book, This Book Will Change Your Life. Written by Benrik (combination of the "mentors" of the book, Ben and Henrik) and seemingly silly, I chose to take a chance on this bargain priced book and see if it would uphold its promise to change my life. I decided to wait until my 25th birthday to begin my adventure with the book. Partly because it would be easier to keep up and mostly because I would be starting a new chapter in my life of post-graduate adulthood.

This book drew me towards it because of the complacency and mundanity I had begun to experience in my daily routine. I eat, I sleep, I work at Plato's and occasionally I throw in a hang out with friends, a visit to family or another random act. I began to feel as if I wasn't living at my fullest capacity and I was becoming too zombie-like for my taste. I decided to use this book as a jumping off point of shaking things up a bit.

I am genuinely happy with all circumstances of my life and I am very blessed to be where I am at today, but I don't want to just live a nice quiet life. I want to go on an adventure. I like my current job, but it is by no means a permanent choice. I yearn for a vocation that allows me to help others in a meaningful way and causes me to feel excited and passionate about my profession. I want to want to go to work.

I also like Tennessee a lot and it will always be my home, but I need a change of scenery. I want to live in a big city, see the country, see the world and experience different cultures.

I plan to take my ordinary circumstances and make them extraordinary by living life to the fullest. I firmly believe that all my dreams stated above are highly probable, but I need to take initiative and step out of my complacency. This book is the tool to help me do just that.

I have only done 4 of the 365 daily tasks so far and they have been silly, challenging and inspiring. I can only anxiously await the remaining days arrival and the adventures they bring. One day asked me to throw something away that I liked. That was really hard to do and I stood back and really saw how many things I hang onto that are superficial and serve absolutely no purpose. I own a superfluous amount of clothing, shoes, entertainment, etc. The task really made me aware of how materialistic I am.

Today's task had me color in a map of countries I have visited, will visit this year, wish to visit and wish to never set foot in. It was humbling to see how many countries were colored in yellow (representing want to visit) in comparison to the 3 colored green (representing visited). I always say I want to travel the world, but I also always say I will when I have money, when I have time or when I am older. Why not now? I decided to live more spontaneously and if a trip arises to take it and never look back. Although it wasn't out of the country, I traveled to D.C. this fall on a whim. Jon Stuart and Stephen Colbert were holding a rally and I decided to use every last penny in my bank account and go on an adventure. It was beyond worth it and one of the best trips I have ever taken.

I hope this book does change my life and I can look back on my 26th birthday and laugh at the crazy things I did and saw. I'm not going to post for every day (that would be too crazy) but I am going to write about the interesting, hilarious or just plain weird tasks required from this book. I hope it is entertaining and maybe, just maybe, it will change your life as well.

In closing, my motto for this year is to be daring, to be spontaneous and to just be.

'Tis The Season...

Donning my new TOMS, I sauntered out my front door into the crisp cool air that smelled of snow to come and made my nose tingle just slightly. I love the first few days of winter when I can still feel my fingers and toes and a warm scarf is the perfect accessory to keep one toasty. Coffee and hot chocolate are stars during this time of year, and while I don't drink either, I greatly appreciate the atmosphere that surrounds them both. Winter makes me want to snuggle up by the fire (well other people's fires due to the lack of a fireplace at my house) and stay up late having good conversation. Movies and books are always a classic and valid choice when staying warm and listening to the wind whistle.

Appreciation for all things increases with the decrease in temperature. I think it has to do with the fact that you are stuck inside and have to sit still, which causes you to think and once you're thinking, it's only moments before you realize how great life is and how blessed and fortunate we all are! If you are reading this it means you have a computer or at least access to one. As we sit cozily on our couches reading blogs and stalking friends on Facebook, there are thousand of unfortunate people spending their holidays in the bitter cold. There are many levels of need during the giving season. I challenge you to validate the name of this supposedly generous season and donate time or resources to those less fortunate than yourself.

I am a firm believer in non-profit organizations and have listed several organizations that I personally donate to and support.

TOMS Shoes was started when founder Blake Mycoskie discovered a need during a mission trip in 2006 in Argentina. He researched and found that many children in developing countries grow up barefoot. This opens them up for risk of injury, infection and disease. Lack of shoes also prevents children from attending schools which often require shoes as part of their dress codes. Blake created the concept of "One for One" which simply means for every pair of shoes purchased, TOMS Shoes will donate one pair to a child in need. This is the perfect compromise, you can give your loved one a tangible gift while also donating a functional present to a deserving child.

Mocha Club is focused on providing the donors with a hands-on experience in the club's five main focus areas: Clean Water, Education, Child Mothers + Women At Risk, Orphan Care + Vulnerable Children and HIV/AIDS + Healthcare. The name comes from the concept of giving up 2 mochas a month ($7) and instead donating that money to this worthy cause. It is more interactive because you are able to have a team and make a difference with your collective efforts. Then each month they send blogs updates and videos so you can witness your money at work. One of their mottos is, "Africans developing Africa." All of their work done is through indigenous leaders.

Doctors Without Borders (Medecins Sans Frontieres) is another organization I support. They are devoted to providing medical aid to those most in need and play the role of advocate for countries in crises that have been neglected. "The vast majority of MSF's aid workers are from the communities where the crises are occurring, with ten percent of teams made up of international staff..." is a quote from their website that summarizes their cause. This organization selects trained medical professionals to assist in giving over 60 countries first-rate medical care during times of violence, epidemics, or catastrophes. I really believe in this cause because they provide quality medical care and a voice to those struggling.

Operation Christmas Child is a branch of Samaritan's Purse and is probably my favorite charitable donation for the holidays. It is very simple. You pick what age child you want to donate to and then you fill a shoe box with fun toys and gifts that they will enjoy. You make as many or as few shoe boxes as you like and when you are finished there are drop off locations throughout the country. I like this one the most because I have made a shoe box every year with my family since I was 5 or 6 years old. It also allows you to donate on a more personal level. Their mission is: To demonstrate God's love in a tangible way to needy children around the world."

I'm not asking you to forgo all Christmas presents, but can you not spare just one? Find a family member or friend and instead of trading gifts, each of you donate to a charity in the other's name. Albert Pine puts it beautifully, "What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world remains and is immortal." I'll leave you with another quote by Mother Teresa, "If you can't feed a hundred people, then just feed one."

Mulan

A poignant quote from Disney's Mulan is, "The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all."

I might be biased on how meaningful this quote is because I adore Mulan along with most other Disney movies. They are so simplistic in plot, deep in meaning, have great soundtracks, can be enjoyed by all ages and span the test of time. I relate to the above quote because I have made several mistakes in my youth that led me toward a path of trials and struggles to get back to where I should be. I am still striving toward my goals and overcoming adversities caused by a few bad decisions years ago. This quote offers hope and inspiration that what is to come will be beautiful and make me appreciate the hard times.

Thinking of how these few words are so dear to me, has me pondering what other Disney movies are filled with words of wisdom. I list below the quotes I find relevant no matter your age and exquisitely capture moments in all of our lives. Hope these encourage and inspire you:

"Always let your conscience be your guide." -Pinocchio

"A dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep. In dreams you will lose your heartache. Whatever you wish for, you keep. Have faith in your dreams, and someday, your rainbow will come smiling through. No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dreams that you wish will come true." -Cinderella

"You think the only people who are people, are the people who look and think like you. But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger, you'll learn things you never knew you never knew." -Pocahontas

"Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming." -Nemo

"The past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it, or learn from it." -Lion King

"Cheer up, child. It'll turn out alright in the end. You'll see." -Beauty and the Beast

"Let your heart guide you. It whispers, so listen closely." -The Land Before Time

Dearest George

George Killian's Irish Red is my alcoholic beverage of choice. I love the rich flavor and how it is the perfect addition to any great conversation or delectable meal. I recently visited the website for this particular brew and found that they designed the flavor to accompany not only Slim Jim's (my personal preference) but a variety of foods. Here is an excerpt from the website that captures the full-bodied beauty of my second favorite beverage: "Fresh and light enough to quench a hot thirst, substantial enough to stand-up to a meaningful conversation. Consistently delicious and never bitter, it goes with virtually everything. In fact, if what you're eating doesn't taste good next to a George Killian's, maybe you shouldn't be eating it."

Through my adult years I have tried a variety of drinks to find the one that compliments not only my lifestyle, but my personality and tastes as well. And George Killian's Irish Red is that drink. My first taste of Killian's was several years ago when my friend Almo let me bum a beer. It was love at first sip and I've been a beer girl ever since. Long Island Ice Teas used to be my drink of choice (and they are still top 5) but after Killian's entered my life I was a changed woman and couldn't place any drink but Dr. Pepper above my beloved.

The reason I glowingly reference Killian's is because we've been through so much together. We've stayed up til 4am discussing deep philosophy, we've laughed and cried at well crafted films, we've had a quiet evenings alone snuggled up with a book, and we've had a couple rambunctious adventures, too. I take the sentiment of it going with all foods one step further in stating that it goes with all occasions as well. George has been my buddy through thick and thin. That is not to say I use alcohol to cope or that I drown sorrows in beer. It is to say that George has been the perfect addition to already meaningful moments.

Have you ever noticed how the last few people at a party are always deep in conversation and content to remain in that stand still state for hours on end. I credit Killian's (and other factors) to playing a role. Taking in a savory drop of beer lets you have a moment with your thoughts to contemplate that last comment made and think of an eloquent concept to send back to your avid listeners. It allows you a few moments to just soak in the glow of a bonfire and appreciate good friends and great moments. You are in no hurry to retire to bed because deep issues are being resolved and discussed in this moment and Killian's slows down the moment so you appreciate what you are a part of enough to stay a few more minutes. It lets your guard down just enough that you are willing to be honest and forth-coming and therefore have a real and meaningful conversation without the falsity of fitting into society's definitions holding you back.

What I'm trying to say is that alcohol isn't always a negative thing or an enemy. Often times it accentuates an evening so perfectly that you think of all the times prior that were equally monumental and thank God for the leisure time. All things when used in moderation and in the proper setting are wonderful. George Killian's is no exception and goes a step further by actually improving upon an already great moment. That is why when I drink beer I drink George Killian's Irish Red. And while I'm not the most interesting man in the world, I am somewhat interesting and having a great time with good friends.

Salvation

No, this is not a religious post as the title might lead you to assume. Do I even need to tell you what happens when you assume? I didn't think so.

Back to the original purpose of writing this, The Avett Brothers and another one of their songs I absolutely love and couldn't live without. I am starting to consider them in the running for my favorite band. They are definitely top 5 material currently.

The song I am referring to is "Salvation Song" off their album Mignonette. This song, like many other Avett Brothers' songs, really captures my attention with its lyrics. I enjoy most types of music, but I truly cherish artists that consider the meaning behind their lyrics. Those that actually put emotion into their songs and draw from personal and real life experiences as opposed to just writing superficial bull shit and adding a catchy beat. Although those songs are typically more fun to dance to, they lack the depth I'm looking for in my music.

Personal preference and opinion aside, I'll let the lyrics of "Salvation Song" speak for themselves. I have included the verses that stood out most to me below:

And if your love laughs at your dreams

Well it's not as bad as it seems

Either way one of them has got to go

And if you take of my soul

You can still leave it whole

With the pieces of your own you leave behind

Wow. A good song is one that makes you think about the meaning of the lyrics and appreciate the duality of different stanzas. A great song is one that illustrates your personal thoughts and experiences in eloquent ways you couldn't describe yourself. When I have an "aha" moment during or after a song and immediately think to write down the lyrics because I can't imagine a better way to phrase something, that is when I know I am experiencing a great song that I will enjoy many times over. "Salvation Song" is a great song because we have all had bittersweet relationships where the last three lines mentioned above ring completely true.

The Avett Brothers and Bob Dylan are my go to bands for fall because they are meaningful and a little soulful. That combination goes great with a hot chocolate, a good book, or even to make writing that paper seem a little less tedious and mundane. Do yourself and your ears a favor and add "Salvation Song" to your fall playlist. Let the music resound in your soles as you stroll amongst the leaves in the crisp autumn air.

(And yes, I meant to spell soles as I did. I'm talking about your feet people. But then again, you could use souls as well because, after all, it is called "Salvation Song")