Patience

God has a funny way of speaking to me when I get a tad bit whiny. Recently I have felt discouraged about love and have been complaining because I want a good man to share my life with and I seem to attract jerks consistently. That is just a brief backstory so you can understand that at 25, having just ended another relationship with the wrong guy, I am getting a little bored of looking for Mr. Right. With this mindset I have been throwing myself a small pity party and last Sunday night God reminded me of the things that really matter most.

I attend New Vision Baptist and I love Pastor Brady and his style of preaching. I highly recommend if you are interested in finding a church to visit this one. Plug out of the way, now onto the sermon that really struck a chord with me. Patience was the theme and this sermon was part of a larger series, Half of my Heart. The series is about giving God more than just part of us and what is easy and diving in fully. I love this concept and it is something I struggle with because I love to be in control.

Anywho, Brady mentioned a quote toward the end of the sermon, "People will either drive you crazy or drive you to the cross." I really like this because I think we have the opportunity to chose which direction we're heading. Patience is evidence of spiritual growth and a lack of patience reveals selfishness. Patience involves a change in perspective. These concepts ring a little blunt but true. I really love the idea of perspective and I believe that it greatly affects our individual outlooks on life. The closer we are to God the more understanding we will be and we will react more generously.

A few relevant bible verses that Brady listed are:

-John 15:4-6

-Proverbs 14:29

Max Lucado once said, "Patience is more than a virtue for long lines and slow waiters. Patience is the red carpet upon which God's grace approaches." Patience is a great moment to share about God's grace and love. People are used to those surrounding them being selfish and a bit self-absorbed, they will notice when someone displays patience. I think that you have to also be cautious to differentiate between being patient and being a pushover. I do not advocate letting someone walk all over you, but I do advocate being kinder.

I arrived at church Sunday night and laughed to myself when I read the sermon notes to see what the topic was. Anytime I get frustrated or discouraged, God sends me a message through a sermon, something I'm reading, an uplifting friend, or kindness from a stranger. He is always constant and realizing He is in control allows me to be more patient. Knowing that there is a plan and I can't see all the steps is hard for me to accept, but it means that even though I might not understand why I have to wait on certain things; God has a plan.

Whenever patience is considered it is only a matter of time before someone mentions Job. He lost everything, but remained patient and God rewarded him greatly. God rewards those who persevere. I obviously need to learn this lesson because patience and perseverance are the theme words of my life. James does an excellent job of explaining what patience achieves for us as followers. Everything always comes full circle and anytime patience is mentioned I think of my favorite quote by Mother Teresa, "Let nothing perturb you, nothing frighten you. All things pass. God does not change. Patience achieves everything."

Limitless

Last night my friend RJ and I went and watched Limitless, starring Bradley Cooper, in theaters. It was a really good film and had several moments of hilarity (which was unexpected). As we drove home we contemplated what shape our lives would take if we could utilize more than 20 percent of our brains on a regular basis. Imagine the possibilities; the movie is aptly titled because they are truly limitless.

If I could tap into my brain's full potential, what would I do? I think I would first go to Vegas and use my newfound math skills to rack up lots of cash. Then I would use my new nest egg to start and build my own non-profit organization. I would be able to maximize efforts and use minimal amounts of donor funding. This would draw donors to my company and would effect major change globally. I would also give back to my family who has always been supportive. And I'd be a little bit selfish and travel the world.

As we continued talking about how great it would be, I began to think about a smaller scale. What if I could train my brain to use 21 percent or even just 20.3 percent? How much better would life be then? It wouldn't be drastic, but it could effect meaningful change on a smaller scale. A favorite bible story of mine is in Mark 12:41-44 when a beggar woman donates her last 2 coins to the offering plate. Jesus commends her because she gave what she had.

We wouldn't require NZT (name of drug in movie) if each individual gave a larger part of themselves or devoted more time to the betterment of society and humanity than squandering our talents on video games, blogs, television, etc. Not saying that distractions are evil and that we shouldn't enjoy some down time, but what if we took 3o minutes everyday and instead of using it to mind numbingly surf the internet, we devoted it to making ourselves smarter or helping others? I think we'd eventually be much happier and benefit numerous people.

All that to say, I have decided that after Lent ends (40 days where you give up simple pleasures to remember the sacrifice Jesus made in the desert and to rely more on God) I am going to attempt to improve myself. I haven't decided exactly how I am going to accomplish this task, but I am going to try new things, talk to people I would normally bypass, help people more, and just do other small things to make me and the world I live in a better place. Maybe I will eventually function at slightly higher than 20 percent brain power. Wish me luck!

Adele's newest album 21 is playing on my stereo which means that this is a good day. The sun is shining and I have been rather productive thus far. I find that my mood affects my drive to write and I only have the urge when I am in either a really great mood (which is the case most days and today) or in a horrible mood (but I cuss more when pissed so this is typically reserved for my private journal and not the blogosphere).

Lately I have been feeling really fortunate for all the things in my life and I feel like reflecting on how blessed I am. For those of you reading that are really close to me, you are aware that I was sick with a virus/gastritis/bronchitis/laryngitis for a solid month. I didn't realize how draining it was on me body and soul. This also happened to occur during my desperate search for a job. They say bad luck comes in spades and I believe this is also true for good luck.

A quote I really love is an Indian proverb that states, "When it is dark enough, you can see the stars." I think this quote is beautiful because it is during our darkest hour we see those pockets of light that litter the sky of our lives. I really cherish my friends and family who made me smile when I felt like crying. I also appreciate so much more all the wonderful seemingly insignificant moments of each day. Walking outside and basking in the sunlight is so much more valuable after being stuck inside. It is only after we have been in the darkness that we can fully appreciate the light (be it a glimmer or a beam). I am closer to God because I was forced to trust him when I couldn't control the situation. It is extremely frustrating for me to not have control especially on anything food related because I so love food! But God used this frustrating time to further prove his sustainability and constant and consistent presence in my life.

Now, I am fully functional again and completely content. I am healthy and able to eat without medicine or immediately puking afterwards. I have not one, but two, jobs. I love working at Newk's and I am really excited to start substitute teaching for the Rutherford County School System. God truly is good. I have an amazing family who always makes me laugh and I couldn't live without. This weekend, my precious nephew (Eli, who is now 10 months) took 3 to 4 steps towards me without help! :D Melts my heart. I am surrounded by hilarious and awesome friends! I would say life is good and Adele is capturing my mood perfectly.

Final Four Failure

Duke is out of the tournament this year. And yes, it took me this long to be able to state the previous sentence without a stream of tears running down my face. All jokes aside, I was a bit devastated that my beloved Blue Devils didn't even make the elite 8 this year. Alas, we will have to wait until a couple years from now when Curry and Irving are mature and the Plumlee Three are dynamic to dominate the tournament.

Since, my team is out I can focus my attention to other teams, who knew they were out there. As a Duke fan it is redundant for me to stress my hatred for North Carolina as anyone aware of basketball is aware of our intense rivalry. This rivalry is personal for me since my own mother is a Tar Heel fan. I am positive I must have been adopted and I am still awaiting the results of our blood tests. RJ (best friend for life) also feels this bitter betrayal by his own love and girlfriend, Tiffany. I am trying to like her in spite of her one blatant flaw, her love for a pathetic team. It is this intense hatred for Roy Williams and his team that led me to support another team that puts a funny taste in my mouth, Kentucky.

At least Calipari and his Wildcats chose a proper color of blue to don. I rooted for them against Ohio State because the Buckeyes win too often and as a recipient of hatred, based on winning records, I am qualified to dish out hatred for the same reason. After Ohio State's demise, I gladly rooted for Kentucky to embarrass the girliest looking blue I have ever seen. Now with only 4 teams remaining my temporary loyalty to Kentucky is holding true.

Butler I root to fail because of how close they came to snagging our Championship from us in last year's tournament and on principal alone they must go down. However, I abhor VCU due to their debasing victory over my Blue Devils in 2007. Their win was the reason that for the first time since 1996 my glorious team did not make it out of the first round action of the tourney. So I must pick Butler because I despise them a little bit less than the Rams.

UConn I could care less about one way or the other so I am picking Kentucky to defeat them. After Kentucky bypasses Kemba Walker and his Huskies they will move onto Butler and hopefully beat them as well. So this tournament has gone from one of hope to a lesser of evils sorts. As much as I don't want Burris and Bubster (best f'n friends for life) to have a victory and obtain their 8th Championship (giving them 5 more than Duke), I hate Butler more. Also, Burris has supported a losing franchise (The Cubs) for his entire life and deserves for one of his teams to do well.

At least I still have the Lakers to carry out my dreams of a ring this year. I am hopeful that we can three-peat! We have the talent as long as each member of our team steps up during the post season. My only worry is Gasol because he is a weak finisher during play-offs and I do not like having him play such an integral role on our squad. Kobe is fired up and I have seen the rat face more frequently as the season progresses, which is always a good sign. Phil should round off his career with an even 12 rings and my boo needs to start his ring collection on his other hand now. Oh basketball, how I love thee!

Patience Is a Virtue

If you have access to a computer (helpful hint: you do if you are reading this), then you have more than likely heard one of the many impressive Chuck Norris factoids. They are simple statements depicting the epic-ness that Mr. Norris epitomizes. I have a folder with the following fact: Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest. I believe Chuck to be even more amazing after completing his book, "Against All Odds," last year. Not only is he a fighting god, he is also pretty quote worthy. In his book, detailing the struggles he faced to obtain his current star status, he says something that really struck a chord with me. Chuck eloquently states, "More and more I was beginning to realize that the rewarding part of life is the journey, not the destination." This sentiment relates directly to my lifelong struggle with patience.

Patience is something I lack in great depths. I have often prayed to God in the past to give me more patience until I realized the methods He planned on using and have since then prayed less frequently for such fun times (Note the sarcasm here). Don't get me wrong, I definitely need to have more patience in my life and appreciate the results of perseverance. Sometimes I get distracted by the difficulty of the journey and get too focused on the destination. Chuck's quote resonated with me because the journey is the rewarding part and I took a long time to realize that truth.

Over the past two weeks I have been fairly sick with a virus and unable to be my normal, active self. This downtime has forced me to think more indepthly about my current state of affairs. As a little girl I just knew that at age twenty-five I would be happily married to a great man with my first child on the way. Now, at that same age, I am unmarried and child free. It is hard to watch a dream pass by without some remorse. Arthur Koestler puts it best, "Nothing is more sad than the death of an illusion." Although, I am not in my idyllic lifestyle I cannot be discouraged because the words of Chuck remain true. I have experienced so many wonderful moments that would not have been possible in my initial life plan. These experiences have also helped to better prepare me to be a better wife and mother in the future.

James is one of my favorite books of the Bible because it deals with patience as a theme of its first chapter. "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything," James 1:2-4 summarizes what patience achieves. Another verse relative to this topic that I find encouraging is 2 Corinthians 4:16-18, "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

I can't breach the topic of patience without mentioning my favorite quote of all time. Mother Teresa was a great woman and I really admire her. I try to live by her words, "Let nothing perturb you, nothing frighten you. All things pass. God does not change. Patience achieves everything." I think the wise nun hit the nail on the head with that one. So with Chuck Norris on one shoulder and Mother Teresa on the other, I plan to enjoy the journey life brings. I might even gain a little patience along the way.

Joshua Radin

Obviously I am a tad bit obsessed with Joshua Radin and rightfully so, stop judging me. As proof for the validity of my adoration I am going to submit lyrics from his latest album because I love them and because I am bored. Both are very good reasons to blog. Also I am fully aware that literally no one reads this unless they are bored so I feel free to ramble and talk nonsensically because who's going to see it anyhow.

Ok, so last night I went to Joshua's concert and it was phenomenal. He was funny and his voice is just as magical in person. He also taught three school kids one of his songs and they joined him on stage during his show! So he's talented and kind. A lot of people know him for his more mellow songs, but his latest album is a great mix of upbeat and chill music. I don't really have too much to ramble on about, so I will let his lyrics speak for themselves. Below are my favorite lines from several of his songs new and old.

"Paperweight," that he sings with Schuyler Fisk is my all time favorite song and I love it in its entirety so I will let you do some work and look them up yourself!

So I crawl underneath my blanket

Where I can hide away, I know I can't take it

'Cause I see now, it's just one of those days

-One of Those Days

We are grown but cannot see

Lost our world of make believe

Simple times now seem so far

-We Are Okay

So let the wind blow

To wherever it says

We are supposed to go

I don't mind the wait, it's fine

As long as you know

It's the wait that could be the something

-Streetlight

Sun shines in the eyes of those who know how to leave the past behind

-We Are Only Getting Better

Everyone gets what they want too fast, these days

No one knows the way to make things last

-The Rock and the Tide

Alive tonight, the beauty is honestly blinding

So take a look around

Almost lost, we finally found the ones tonight

The ones with the light that keeps shining

We will never change

The way we are here

I like that we are kind of strange

So won't you stay near

-The Ones with the Light

And sometimes I need the light

To sleep alone on this weary night

-Wanted

"Brand New Day," is another song that I love the central message of so looks like you'll have to make an effort twice.

I enjoy Joshua Radin's lyrics because they're great to sing along with and is uplifting. His music is a kindred spirit during heartbreak and he also beautifully captures the sheer essence of love's delight. I just really love all his music and think you should listen to him!!

Don't Worry, Be Happy

Lately I have been really introspective and considering why I act the way I do and why I am prone to certain responses (particularly the atypical ones). I think all of life is filled with mystery and I am in constant wonder at the majesty of the world I live in and I believe that I will spend the remainder of my days in this same state. But why? Why am I usually happy and very optimistic and other people seem to mostly be pessimistic or negative? I know that genetics and circumstance play a role and cannot be ignored when arriving at the answer, but honestly, I believe that a majority of our happiness is determined by ourselves.

Sure, everyone has bad days and moments that smiling seems impossible. I am addressing the everyday outlook an individual possess's not the exceptions we all experience. It takes nothing to make me laugh and smile and that is because I choose to see the joy in all things. A sunny day is something to be admired and appreciated. Just the feeling of warmth from the sun's rays warms my spirit. I think the key to choosing happiness is first the conscious decision to want to be happy. I italicize want because I think some people enjoy the drama that misery brings and actually enjoy complaining.

After one opts to be a happy person, the rest is relatively simple. Take time to actually think about your life and how fortunate you are in comparison to anyone else. Compare your life right now to those affected by the Moscow or Arizona tragedies and already you are having a better day. Thinking rationally and taking a step back to see that in the scheme of things your struggle is usually minute compared with many others is helpful. Find joy in little moments throughout the day. When someone holds a door open for you, lets you ahead of them in the grocery line, smiles at you, or shows any kindness; don't brush it off and ignore it. Actually think about their deed and how nice it was of that person and you will feel happier because the world seems kinder in that moment.

Another way I find joy is by knowing my go to happiness creators. As I mentioned earlier, we all have bad days and moods and knowing how to curtail that blah mood is key. I know that listening to certain songs, watching youtube clips, going for a run, writing in my journal or calling certain family members always improves my mood. I choose when I am having a bad day to use the prior mentioned tools to get over my sadness.

Sometimes just taking five minutes to be pissed about the issue and then laughing at myself for how trivial it is, is all I need to wear a smile again. This speaks to the introspection I spoke of in the first paragraph. Knowing yourself allows you to sense if something is irritating you and know how to correct it before you blow up on the cashier or a random person. I really like helping others and giving out kindness into the universe. Making someone smile or laugh makes me feel better always.

Ever watch a group of children playing? They are filled with that innocent and genuine joy that a lot of adults seem to lose through struggles and hardships. I think that we all need to find that childlike wonder again. Go play on a playground, fly a kite or play hide-n-seek. I guarantee you will smile at some point, whether you want to or not. I have never lost that sense of wonder and often joke with friends that I am a five-year old at heart. I am content to watch the clouds pass by or stare at the stars. It may seem immature that at age twenty-five I still enjoy a good game of tag or red rover, but I don't care. Taking time to forget any worries I have and just play is how I stay so happy.

Obviously individuality is the key word here. Find what takes you away from your stress and leaves you with that sense of peace, which is the greatest joy, and make time for it in your day to day life. Stop worrying what other people think about you, and do what makes you happy (within reason and the law). Dance in your car, scream along with your favorite song, build a blanket fort in your living room, or anything that is silly. It's impossible not to laugh while doing these things. The choice is yours.

Stop postponing your happiness and just be happy. The decision is and always will be yours and no one can take away your joy unless you let them. Why waste your day mad over something that happened that morning. It doesn't change what happened it only ruins more of your day. Instead take a minute to change your mood and see how remarkably better your day is because you changed your attitude and outlook. I love Albert Einstein and so I leave you with a quote of his, "Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character."